for Mike …

I needed to take a few weeks to calm down after my last interaction w/ your wife. For reference, that was the last day you heard from me, when I started calling you names and sending you nasty texts – because, it was at that point that I literally gave up trying to get through to you and asking for forgiveness for a fucking stupid joke that i made.

I have changed my mind over the past few weeks re: how I feel about your wife. I don’t think I like her very much at all after the way she treated me after “the joke”. She has cause me great mental anguish – I mean, she literally killed our friendship – and Mike – you are one of my favorite people in the whole world, and I consider you to be one of my bestest-ever friends. I thought we had a friendship where I can send you a joke that busts your balls, and you come back w/ an equally smart remark, or a “whoah buddy, that was a little too far” kind of comment. But what I got was your wife tormenting me. I encourage you to go through my chat history w/ her and see for yourself. I never once said anything nasty to her. I did nothing but plead for forgiveness and she did nothing but continue to insult me and put me down.

For example – she started this whole thing w/ her first reply to me treating me like I was already an “enemy” or someone that she hated, not as one of her husband’s best buddies who was just busting his balls. She called “the joke” tasteless, heartless and quite frankly, disgusting” along w/ a couple of “shame on you”s for good measure.

I then apologized profusely, which I should not have even had to do if this was something that was just between you and me. But you had to (apparently) hand off all communications to her, which she executed poorly. I asked again for her forgiveness, and she put me “on hold” because she said there was a death in your family and she needed time to “mull it over” (her response to my apology).

2 weeks went by with no reply so i reached out to her again hoping to finally patch things up. She then gave me her “life coach assessment” that I am “in a very negative space right now” and she didn’t respond because she “didn’t want to be on my level”. Then she advised me to stop picking fights. I’m not sure what she was referring to there, unless she was referring to my attempts to apologize.

Are you starting to notice a pattern here? It seems Kim has created her own narrative of who I am, what kind of space I’m in now, what kind of person I might be, etc., etc. and this is all in HER fucking head – it is not reality. The reality is – I’m a fun-lovin’ guy, and most people love me, and no one that truly knows me has ever accused me of the kinds of things your wife has. She even told me “I’m not Mike’s gatekeeper”, when, in reality, it seems she is. Because any attempt I’ve made to contact you, was responded to by her. She ended that exchange with me by sending me her best wishes and hoping that I didn’t continue to journey further to “the dark side” (like that pussy, Anakin*).

* KIM – that was a joke.

Her last response to me after that is when she insulted me some more by calling me “dense”, Implying that I am too dumb to realize that maybe I should apologize TO YOU. Forgive me for being mentally retarded, but isn’t that exactly what I’ve been trying to do ever since the day after “the joke”?

It was at THAT point, that I said my first unkind words to Kim (and believe me, I so tempted so many times, but held off for fear of driving a permanent spike in our friendship). And even then I held back, because she’s your wife. Instead, I decided, at that point, to send you a bunch of texts w/ immature insults and name calling because it was the only way (at the time) to protest all of this ridiculousness.

So – in summary – the short version …

Kim scolded me for a joke that wasn’t meant for her to begin with, and insulted me. She refused to accept my apology, and instead decided to make psychological assessments of me and criticize me more, while she kept me “on hold” for weeks”. The more i reached out in desperation, the meaner she got. She took away one of my best friends, and offered me no path to reconciliation*.

* Kim – i encourage you to re-read our entire exchange on Facebook Messenger and I challenge you take a good hard look at how you treated me, and wether or not you maybe behaved badly.

Well – that’s it buddy. The above is my equivalent of me pouring my heart out to to you. So now, I guess you can either ask your wife to take it down a notch, accept my apology, and we can ALL attempt to move forward from this. OR, I guess you can remain silent forever and consider our friendship history. The ball’s in your court. Unless you reach out to me, I’ll never even know if you saw this, or if your wife hijacked this line of communication too.

The full transcript of the exchange between Kim and myself is included below for your reference …